Léonie Bitorwa

he/him, Democratic Republic of the Congo, homeless

(From an interview conducted over Email in 2020)

I’m a trans activist and a volunteer in the Rainbow Sunrise Mapambazuko organization. I’m also homeless, I was chased out by my family two years ago. I sleep at our office. Trans life in Africa is a nightmare.

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I am tolerant. To tolerate others is also to tolerate yourself.

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I am a wild bird with beautiful multi-colored plumage, living in a world where other birds have one-color plumes. They envy my multi-color plumes and want to paint me one color, even if they have to do it by force.

But my colorful plumes offer a gift: the knowledge that the world is full of differences.

Difference contributes to good social cohesion. To accept difference is to complement oneself and not conform. When a society accepts difference, there is no more violence, and everyone is free.

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I’ve never experienced gatekeeping within the trans community. All trans people are legitimate. Being transgender is in the spirit, not in how people present. People experience their transness in different ways.

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Our strength comes from our suffering. We aspire to change the mentality of the larger community to make things better for the trans community. It’s this hope for a better world that gives us courage to continue living.

The trans movement in the DRC is very recent. I know no trans elders or trans history. Religious organizations hate us and call us bad luck, creatures of Satan. To the media, we are invisible—like we don’t exist.

In the DRC, transgender people have no legal protection. The field of health also discriminates against transgender people, and most of us prefer self-medication. During COVID-19, the transgender population has suffered much from the lack of masks, disinfectant gels, shelter for those who are on the street, and food—because transgender people are abandoned by everyone.

Our organization, Rainbow Sunrise Mapambazuko, is our first source of hope when our own hope fades. Some other organizations also fight for human rights in the city, and they are our allies. We have identified a group of mothers in our neighborhoods who have accepted diversity, accept and support us as we are, and give us further strength and hope when our own hope fades.

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My sufferings are multiple. They start from the fact that in my own family I was stigmatized for a long time before they chased me out from the house, because of the looks of neighbors and passerby, sometimes mocking and sometimes threatening—these pushed me to isolate and shut myself in. The only times I’m comfortable or have a bit of a break is when I’m with my trans sisters or others from the LGBTQ community, when we’re in a place where we can laugh, we can talk, etc.—but unfortunately these moments are very rare because most of the time we’re looking for a reason to live. My suffering also comes from being away from my family, who no longer speaks to me and who I miss dearly, from the trauma of violence both verbal and physical, depression, and the fact of living in a society where I am not free to enjoy my rights.

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Religious leaders are among the most transphobic. They use their power to persuade their followers to hate transgender people. They preach hatred, saying for example that if you have a transgender child, throw them out of the house, avoid them, or else you might get infected and become trans.

I want a religious leader to spend a day in my place. To learn the truths we live with every day. The look of disgust when people meet you, which gives you the impression of being nothing, or when they point their finger at you, shouting that you are the devil. I want them to experience always having to cross the street to avoid people, and the insults that follow you and make you wonder why? I want them to know the truth of being physically assaulted just for being trans, being chased out by your own family, being forced to live in dangerous conditions on the street. I want them to know about prostitution just to survive, drug use, the loneliness of missing your family. These are my lived experiences and the living conditions of many of my transgender sisters and brothers.

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I dream that one day I can be recognized as a person as I am, that I can pass on the street without attracting attention or being abused, that I can live my life in complete freedom without being seen as a threat simply because I do not correspond to what this world thinks I should be. From that day on, there will be joy in my heart, no more fear, no more danger. I would see my family and be reconciled with them, introduce them to the person I love, spend all day outside walking freely, going to see friends, going to those places we couldn’t because of our sexual orientation and gender identity. I would spend the rest of my life like everyone else. I would work without the feeling that it’s not worth it. I would feel my life was worth living. I would be free to love who I want, to live with him, to walk with him, to sit with him in public places.

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I think my ideal society is something that can be achieved, but I’m not sure if it can happen during my life. There is still a lot to do to change mentalities where I live. It will take time, but it is possible. We live in a world that is constantly changing. What is today considered taboo may be considered normal tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow.

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I knew a trans person who could not accept herself. She would laugh and throw stones at us from a group of boys. Over time, we approached her and sensitized her to the notion of diversity. In the end she let go of her hatred, which was a kind of self-hatred.

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For people reading this from a position of power, hear our cry of distress. Use your power to influence governments to create and enforce laws to protect transgender people and ensure our health.

Donate to Rainbow Sunrise Mapambazuko

If this interview speaks to you, please donate to Rainbow Sunrise Mapambazuko (RSM), via my own PayPal link @RainieOet, with the memo “RSM.” I will send these donations directly to RSM’s bank account.